Childish, foolish, stupid and yes! Probably insane. In the act of searching my lost self and assembling and organising it I started to lose even the clinging parts…… the ruins, should I say? Or the remnants……. pieces that don’t have shape, colour, texture……. They have no identity…… no identity?? So how can they belong to ‘U’? just because of the fact that ‘U’ don’t have any identity…… wow what an appropriate assertion!!
Its not about losing vigour, neither is it about valour …. Now, I don’t know why, but I’m not even in a position of caring about either….. in fact, now I feel like I care about nothing……….. not even me aparna… who will care for me if u don’t?? this is what my soul is musing, crying and shouting.
And in an attempt to help it……. A small venture…… towards my past, my confidence… towards myself. I was sooo excited! But……. But all was gone in a blink!! Probably its not right. Past is gone…… bygones are always bygones. U cant revert it.
Then what I do?? Live with it? With this stinking scenario? No! never!! Then fight it back? thats cool na? but how?? I need some virtues I used to have….. the physical, material and EMOTIONAL. But how do I get them. They are lost………..
